Day 8 - February 3rd, 2019 - Michael
The first of four weeks of this prayer and fasting period is complete, and I honestly don’t know whether it is going by super fast or really slow. This week I was thinking about what makes time seem to go by at different speeds when in reality, the steady passing of time is one of the only things we can count on. It’s probably the amount of memorable experiences that we have or something like that (I don’t know, I’m not a brain scientist).
Something I found myself asking a lot this week was, “Is this changing anything?” In prayer and fasting, like most things, it seems that patience is a virtue. But being patient is hard! As a single 25-year-old man with few responsibilities outside of myself, most of the time, I don’t have to wait for stuff. If I’m hungry, I eat. If I’m tired, I sleep. If I want to do something, I just do it. I don’t even have to run my decisions by any other person (it could be wise, but I don’t HAVE to).
As I mentioned last week, I’ve never fasted from food before. And what I found was, when I’m hungry, without thinking, I just eat something. So the one day this week when I was fasting, there were a lot of times I caught myself reaching for food without hesitation. When I was finally able to eat again though, wow. So good. Maybe that is teaching me something about prayer too? Sometimes we pray and nothing happens. And we pray again, and nothing happens. And after a couple times more, we wonder, “Maybe I’d be better off figuring it out myself.” But maybe, just maybe, if we stick it out and wait on out faithful God, the blessings will come bigger and better than we could have hoped.
I think about the story of Abraham that is found in Genesis. God makes Abraham a huge promise: that he will have an innumerable amount of descendants, and that they will be a great nation. But at this point, Abraham is already old and wrinkly, so if it’s happening, it needs to happen soon. He and his wife Sarah pray and wait, pray and wait, and they have no babies. So they give up and try and settle. I do this all. the. time. God had something awesome in store for Abraham, but in those long days of waiting, Abraham’s faith waned. God is working where we don’t always see, and our faith wanes too.
So this week, when I start to wonder whether or not this is worth it, I will have to be remind myself that God’s goodness is true and there is beauty in the waiting.